the question ‘why?’


This is a call for HELP.

I could never have anticipated the amount of times I would get the steadfast reply of ‘why?’ nearly every single time I say something to Mo. Without hesitation he will look me in the eyes and ask ‘why?’

Just now for example when he reached for my phone and said ‘my phone.’ I told him ‘no that is my phone.’ He looked up at me and said ‘why?’ and I replied ’cause its mama’s phone’ and he replies: ‘why?’

I am almost at the point of not being able to deal. Thats an exaggeration of course, Continue reading “the question ‘why?’”


Toilet Time

This past week we hit a major milestone at Casa Mike y Ly, our nearly two and a half year old boy decided he wanted to use the toilet(!!!)


Out of the blue on Tuesday morning when I was changing his diaper he told me ‘want to go pee pee’. I frantically ran upstairs, so that I wouldn’t miss my window, to get his little potty and voila he went. Then about 20 minutes later Continue reading “Toilet Time”

Choose your Own Adventure

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Most Monday nights I make dinner, one of the two nights a week that this happens. I make a huge mess in our little kitchen with every surface covered with the remains of a home cooked meal. I plate us our dinner and then all three of us sit down in the dining room and eat together. It is a tiny moment of calm & reflection in my otherwise hectic Monday Continue reading “Choose your Own Adventure”

15 months a madre

Last week Mo hit 15 months, so an update is officially due here on the blog. He is a really sweet little boy and I am truly enjoying my role as his madre. I am working on a few future posts about sleep (for the whole family), favorite shoes for baby boys & more about life these days, including house dreams (thank you pinterest). For today I have compiled a collection of the highs and lows at 15 months a madre.

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Me & Mo in our Easter lunch outfits

Continue reading “15 months a madre”

8 months a madre: a mantra

This past Sunday Mo hit eight months. He is sitting up like a pro, laughing at things that tickle his funny bone, gaining the first of his teeth and eating solids. He is still waking up pretty regularly around 3am or 4am each night to eat but then falls back asleep for us til about 8am right after a quick nurse in bed with me. At eight months we can likely drop this feeding but it seems like more work to get him off this cycle than just spend the few minutes going to his room to retrieve him and then get him in bed with us to nurse.

On the madre front things are really picking up at work. I am being thrown into some new work streams and enjoying the new challenges. But on the personal front one challenge has been consistent. Finding time to balance the things I want and need to be doing outside of work. Especially my duties as a madre. I cannot help myself but feel a little guilty that I do not participate regularly in the drop offs and pick ups of Mo before and after work. Mike more often than not takes care of this for us and I am making a conscious decision to try and fit everything in as best I can. But aside from work, my commute and my desire to take care of my mind/body/soul alà running and burncyle there has yet been a day in the past two months where I could do it all and be the one to to the drop off/ pick up of Mo.

Fortunately Mike does a great job at handling this on the day to day. Since he works from home he can wait for Mo to wake up and then spend some time with him before escorting him up to my mom’s house for daycare. But like I said I want to be able to do this too. And on the days I do get to it is most often for a pick up after work and I do not get up to her house until 6:30 or 7pm so then I feel like I am taking advantage of her kindness.

So now, after four months back at work, I have only just begun to think about waking up earlier & getting a kickstart to the day (so adult of me), so that I can take advantage of more hours. With the primary focus on working out- I have been taking Mo for a run in the morning up to my mom’s house to take care of the drop off and the workout at the same time. Or on some days waking earlier to get a little work done at home so that I can then do the drop off without rushing immediately into the office.

Last week for example I had a few meetings fall off my calendar so my day in the office could potentially start at 9:30AM versus 8AM. I was looking forward to having some extra time with Mike and Mo in the morning and take care of the morning drop off. But as I was going to bed I remembered that I had booked a 6:30AM spin class. I weighed the options and decided that the spin class was going to be my priority. I felt a tad of guilt as I left the house that morning. But of course, as soon as I got on the bike I was so proud of myself for being there. And fortunately that morning Jessi, the spin instructor, said something in class that resonated with me. She was motivating us during one of the more challenging parts of the class and told us that ‘self care is self respect’. She applauded us for making the time for this class and taking care of our minds and bodies. Having her say that in class that morning truly struck a chord with me. What she said was so good to hear and turned my attitude about the class and about taking the time to workout, for myself, from a place of guilt to a place of appreciation.

I carried that appreciation throughout the day. And now, a week later, still use it to remind myself that I do not have to do it all. And how fortunate I am to have a partner, and family too, that let me take that time. Mike loves our little boy so much that I remind myself, the stuff that I  interpret as a ‘burden’ or ‘work’ is what we both signed up for and is as much his job as it is mine. It is amazing seeing him winning in the ‘better parent’ category and actually a fun, and healthy, competition for us both to have.

So to my husband. I know you don’t read this blog because you think I am a major nerd for even having it. But thank you for everything. TQM.

xx Ly

new favorite insta acct

Happy Monday! I am here today with a really great present for you. To all my readers who are into dudes, Disneyland or just admire a cute guy with his kids this post is for you!

Last week Mike & I were tagged in a post on insta by my bff. She introduced us to a new (to us) account titled DILFS of Disneyland. Yes, DILFS of Disneyland. I love, love, love Disneyland and no I don’t mind (sing that like Usher and this post will be 100x better for your Monday morning) looking at some eye candy on my insta, who doesn’t right?

dilfs of disneyland blog post

The account delivers on just what it sounds like it would. Dads and their kids enjoying Disneyland and California Adventure Park. Pretty great. I have no clue who is responsible for this account but from the looks of it I am lead to believe it is one part regram approach for the account. But there also has to be a Disney employee, or as they are referred to by those in the know, a Disney cast member. I am stumped though, I assume that snapping pics while working at the park is against the Mickey Mouse code of conduct. Nonetheless it is a really fun account to follow & the captions are funny little reads.

dilfs of disneyland

I already am way too excited to take Mo to Disney and now I have the anticipation (hope) of getting Mike featured on the account when we are there! From the looks of it though he will need some tattoos, most dads featured have got some ink. The girls who run this account definitely seem to have a type: dark hair, beard, tattoos, shades & a stroller.

how to be a hip dad

Sadly, I don’t think we will be taking Mo to Disney for at least another three years. I don’t see the use in taking him when we can’t walk or speak. It would be a waste of all of our time if we went before he hit three, gonna be hard waiting that long though.

Any other DILF accounts I should be following?

xx Ly

The cliches 

Mo had a few rough nights sleeping sunday and Monday. Which meant that he was waking up more than once throughout the night. In those early morning hours I was annoyed and frustrated with my little boy and the struggle of sleep. But around 5am Monday morning, which I know is not SUPER early but still not a normal hour for me or us to be up, my boy gave me a big smile. And that smile turned my frustration, annoyance and frown upside down. In that moment I quickly saw and realized that all the cliches are coming true. I don’t think anybody else’s smile at that hour could make my heart smile and make me happy.

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Continue reading “The cliches “

ode to breastfeeding

This post comes as a surprise, to me especially, but recently I have had such a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in breastfeeding that I thought it was worth writing down and remembering.

Breastfeeding was always a no brainer for me when imagining myself raising a kid. I beleive every family needs to do what is right for them so I didn’t put much thought into formula feeding as nursing was something that I assumed would happen easily.

At first it did. I think with aftershock of childbirth, the healing process for me was a slow decline in pain and soreness. It had me a bit numb to the pain I was enduring as I was learning to nurse. But after two weeks of breastfeeding with Mo I was really feeling the affects of both him and I being novices at the practice. This coincided with the doctor suggesting we begin to supplement to get him to gain some weight. 

As I wrote in my previous post, we had really beaten up my nipples with the rigorous scheduled feedings and I was truly injured- swollen, cracked and raw nipples were my new normal. I attribute some of my symptoms to the stress I put on myself to produce for him after the doctor telling us that he needed to gain weight. Supplementing with formula definitely had its advantages, mainly that other people could feed him. But I began pumping frequently and working really hard to produce and provide him as much milk from me as possible. The hardest part was not ever really knowing how much he was getting when we were nursing. The beauty of a bottle is that you see the ounces go in and see them come out. Its really easy and that was satisfying. Knowing that he was eating and that he was gaining we were told we could wean him off the formula. We began to do so but still things were not working on my end. I continued with the pain and discomfort while nursing. My complaints to friends and family were met with encouragement that it would get better and that it would just take some time for both Mo and I to learn how to operate this new symbiotic relationship. So I continued to nurse him, but I continued to struggle. The reassuring comments from friends and family were becoming hard to take, making me feel weak and unmotherly because I was absolutely hating nursing. It stung and burned and any movement he or I would make during a feeding would make me cringe.

Finally, after five weeks it all changed for the better. While my best friend was visiting we had dinner at her mom’s house. Her mom, Julie, happens to be my childhood pediatrician and has known me 29 of my 30 years. At the dinner table Julie told me she had heard about my rough time feeding, that I was not enjoying nursing at all. I nodded my head and began to feed Mo, he was crying from hunger, while doing so Julie got a good glimpse at my nipple across the dinner table. She told me it looked really bad and asked me a few questions. Turns out my symptoms were all adding up to a breast infection. From there I contacted my doctor and figured the rest out.

But back to my ode to breastfeeding. I have read other women gush and rave about breastfeeding, going on and on about how it is time they cherish with their babies. For me the sense of pride I feel in feeding him comes from the struggle it was to begin with. I was ready to quit and did not have any issue with that. It didn’t make me feel less of a mother as some people want you to think it should. It made me feel smart and proactive. Breastfeeding truly was not working for us. But part of being proactive was getting help from doctors and professionals. After treatment and guidance we now are doing really good. We got healed up quite quickly with the help of ointments and antiobiotics and have been going quite strong ever since (five weeks later now). My breasts and nipples look healthy and are producing milk as they should be. We supplement with formula when it makes sense for our family and most importantly we are continuing to figure this relationship out together.

Breastfeeding now feels very natural and is something I continue to be amazed about everyday. The same way baby wearing makes me feel like we are honorary members of the animal kingdom, breastfeeding does as well. And just like an animal I choose to feed Mo on demand, out and about and in public. I am not sure how long we will breastfeed, I do not have any milestones I am trying to hit or time tables that are holding me accountable. I think I will just let our bodies naturally determine for us when it makes sense to stop.

Thanks for reading, xx Ly

adulthood 101

I frequently feature guest posts on career, family and culture by inviting friends and peers to share stories and anecdotes from their own experiences to uncover and introduce different and unique perspectives on being a parent in today’s world.

Please drop me a line if you would like to be featured or submit a subject, via my submit button above, that you would like us to cover.

xx Ly

email: lydiamaria at gmail dot com