Today we are trekking to Brooklyn. I am introducing you to my best friend Emily. She lives a wonderful life in NYC, with her Husband Steve and cat Nicky, being very fulfilled in her job as a field producer for PBS documentaries and exploring as many arts and cultural activities in the city as one couple can! Emily is writing today about family planning in NYC and family day dreaming. Side note, the photo above is from Emi & Steve’s Nola nuptials this past April, I served as maid of honor and surprise to everyone, myself included, a month later we learned I was pregnant!
I want to take a moment out here to send some love to Mario Joaquin. Every morning, I awake looking forward to my daily pic! I’m bonding from afar for these first few weeks, but counting down the days for my trip to Portland when I finally get to spend some quality time with my little guy.
Lydia and I have spent the past 29 years playing house. For the earlier years, I mean that quite literally, but for the others, I mean that we have navigated coming into our own as adults together. Despite our geographical distance, rarely a day goes by without us checking in and weighing in.
We all know that it’s becoming more common in many parts of the world for our generation to take their time in starting a family, if that’s what feels right for them, and I’ve been no exception. Lydia and I were raised to be strong, independent women. Making a place for yourself in this world came first; ensuring that you can support yourself in a way that fulfills you was paramount in our upbringing. Establishing myself within my career was my priority, and I love my work.
Steve and I have lived in Brooklyn for nearly six years, and our colleagues here tend to live for their trade. Starting a family here tends to be, well, about as delayed as the body allows. We were married last April in New Orleans, and at 31, I am (so far) alone in my peer group here to be married. Having a baby… well that could take me another decade to get ready for!
We’ve turned to Lydia and Mike then to guide us into these new life roles. We get to kind of try things on for size through them before taking the leap ourselves. The idea of marriage felt a little foreign to us until Mike proposed. My parents weren’t married, and traditional roles are not required in my household. Soon, after eight years together, it felt like something we might be comfortable doing and actually really enjoy as well. Then, later on, as Lydia was pregnant and her belly started to grow, I noticed Steve’s attitudes toward having kids begin to change. Suddenly he was pointing out cute babies in subway stations or cracking up over a kid dance-walking down the street.
As we welcome Mo into the family, we begin to warm to the idea that maybe we’d like to become parents in the next few years as well. It will take some careful planning and major changes. (I’m inviting myself back for a future Making La Madre post on what planning for a baby in New York City might entail…Like moving to another city!) For now, we will enjoy our life in the big city, just us. Maybe we’ll catch Lydia and Mike on the next round.
Thank you Emi for sharing! I am not ready for number two yet- but don’t let me hold you up!